Listening to Yourself

Phones off, No distractions. Try it once a day. Total time for the steps is 25 minutes.

• 5-7 deep breaths. Feet on the floor. Shoulders relaxing.

• Being Completely Quiet for 5-6 minutes: This is more difficult than you think. This is a time of letting the things of your mind subside, the lists and even ideas of what needs to be done let them go. If you can work up to 10 minutes that is healthy and good.

These next steps take 3 - 5 minutes each

• First question: What am I most concerned about in this moment? What am I most joyful about in this moment? What am thankful for in this moment?

• Write down, pen and paper, no phone, any answers or ideas as to what needs to be done to move the concerned to a place of peace or an ok-ness for you. If there is nothing, that's fine. Write down what comes to mind about joyful and thankful.

• Ask what needs my attention? Listen for the answers and write them down, even if it do not make sense. Put away the paper.

• Breathe 5-7 more times. Read your answers right away, and then later that day.

Prepositions Matter

In 6th grade our class had to memorize the prepositions in alphabetical order and recite them to the class at the front of the room. It was difficult for me. I practiced and practiced, my parents had me say it out loud at home, in the car. I’d get to, “in, inside, into …,” and it all went blank. Got up in front of the class, got the same place, went blank, tried again and again, and the teacher was encouraging and kind, and failed me.

Prepositions matter. It doesn’t matter if you know them by memory.

To this day, there’s a little panic when going through them in my mind. Checked them again online for this blog.

Learning to listen has taught me that when we listen “to” someone, it requires a skill set that is focused on them and their needs. Straight forward listening postures, all eyes and ears on them.

Listening “for” allows our imagination to create something new, something innovative that can become a new place for listening. It is about ideals and actions, and the other. Listening for humor, or love, or help. Listening for suffering, pain, loneliness. Listening “for” changes our mindset and posture. Elevates listening.

Prepositions matter.

Confidence is a Skill

We are not born with it. We can learn it.

Arrogance tries to mask itself as being confident, knowing it all. Arrogance is not a skill. We can make money being arrogant by acting successful. The end goal of arrogance revolves around manipulation, fear, bullying, and a race toward entropy. Arrogant people only care about themselves. We are not born arrogant.

The most important action we need to succeed in business and education is confidence. Confident people survey everyone in a room, concerned with all people and manner of learning, and are present with them. Confidence has a bit of appropriate fear and awareness attached to self reflection. It takes practice. Confidence responds, willing to learn and become better.

We can be confident.

Racing Toward Red Lights

 Whatever the psychological reasoning or FOMO or neurotic behavior driving a person to floor a car toward an already red light, and toward cars with tail lights stopped in red, is silly and absurd, extremely dangerous. Don’t get me started on racing toward blocking others needing to merge.

How many of us live our life this way? How many of us are racing toward red lights in life?

Braking in life can be healthy. Waiting is an important skill. Allowing others to merge in and out of your life is important to becoming compassionate. Accelerating is appropriate. Breathing and looking around at our life, where we are going, pulling off onto another road, can be important steps toward change. Moving, progressing is also important.

and, flipping people off is not a good choice.

Today

For centuries global religions have practiced hospitality as way to identify their community by defining relationships with others. Inside and outside of their religion. When we look at the ancient religious texts and stories of being guest, host, other, friend, and stranger, an understanding emerges about the responsibility each faith can take of welcoming people in this 21st century selfie world. Hospitality at its minimum can change someone’s life for the better. Invite someone whom you consider an other to sit with you. Ask them about their journey. Today.

Life of Learning

Many of our significant learning experiences are the relationships we make helping us discover our self and what we want to do with our life.

Acting with a personal ethic and living diversity can be one of those incredible journeys.

Every word we choose and share has power and meaning.

Respect.

Listening.

Learning.

Encouraging.

Four values vitally important to creating a healthy life of learning.

Doing the Work

Teaching a mandatory foundations class for sophomores and juniors on ethics and diversity, a lot of students have a just-show-up attitude. It can be difficult for teachers too, many just put slides together and talk about … (“wah waa wah”, the Peanuts teacher sound in my head). Part of that mentality is a flawed industrial institutional education vibe that has rewarded just-show-up for centuries. Nothing new here and it produces, Just show up to work. Just show up to the meeting. Just show up to life.

The team running foundations where I teach is vested in a vision about something different than just showing up. They reward and applaud questions like, What happens when you care? What happens we you want to practice ethics and live diversity? What more can the class be than just showing up? What can I do to make a difference in student’s lives? What can students do to make a difference in the world? Who are you now after taking this class? Who do you want to be?

What helps students and professors learn best are these actions: Do the work. Be prepared. Share what you learn. Listen.

Communication Superpower

Nonverbal communication is a superpower. Observing others can help you help people create meaning. The details of our nonverbals are the story of our journey.

We are communicating all the time.

Raise your head up, look out, and listen with your eyes. Superpower.